Diary of Gil Grissom
by pesi
Summary: A simple misunderstanding makes the world spirl into chaos for one person......Warning character death


**Ok so CSI not mine because if it was I wouldn't be waiting for season six to be shown in the UK (I'm getting impatient!)**

**WARNING- this does involve a character death and suicide, so if you going to be effected by this please don't' read or sue me!**

**That said please read and review, I'm bored and seem to have seven stories half written, I must post some of them……………..**

**5;00pm**

There he was the man she loved holding her. The anger rose in Sara so that her fists clenched and it was all she could do not to go in and shout at them. But as quick as the anger came it went and turned to disappear .The fact that the man she had loved for so many years didn't feel the same about her. All the times he had ignored her and gave her excuses she still had hope, hope that he was just trying to protect himself form been hurt but now he was stood in his office hugging Sofia. It was then Sara realised that warm tears wear running down her checks so she quickly made her way down the corridor.

"Hey Sara you ok?" shouted Nick seeing her practically jog by him her face bright red. He received no reply but a door slamming shut at the end of the corridor.

"Nick I'm going to drive Sofia to the airport, he mothers been in a car accident I don't think she should drive in her state" said Grissom appearing in the doorway.

"Ok, hey Gris what's up with Sara?" he asked but Grissom just shrugged his shoulder son his way out.

"Hey Nick" smiled Cath coming in. "what's up with Sara?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing stormed out her, though she'd been arguing with you again," said Nick receiving a glare form Catherine.

"We didn't' argue just had a difference of opinion"

"Which the hole lab heard" interrupted Nick.

"Well she practically ran me of the road leaving," said Catherine

"Maybe it best to let her cool down I'll ring later and see what up" said Nick carrying on going through files.

**7:30pm**

Sara was sat nursing her third beer, she couldn't even care enough to get drunk anymore. It wasn't helping her feel better.

"Hey how about you finish that so I can buy you another" came the drunken slur of a man stood behind her. He was stood with a group of about five men all in suits.

"No" came Sara's sharp reply not bothering to start talking to them.

"Come on now that's not polite," warned another.

"Just get lost," shouted Sara turning to face them.

"Come on love it's my stag night last night of freedom" slurred the man at the front before falling towards her and grabbing her thigh.

"Get off" shouted Sara standing and pushing him away. The man fell back wards into to men at a table behind him causing them to spill their drinks.

"HEY" shouted one man at the table pushing him to the floor.

"Get off him," slurred another man in a suit taking a swing at him and somehow managing to land it. Within second a fight had broken out and Sara found herself been grabbed by the arm by one of the men.

"Come on love we can go somewhere more private" he said trying to grab her leg. With that Sara swung at him hitting him right in the nose with a satisfying crack. That was until a fist came back connecting with her jaw and she found her self in the middle of the fight. Normally she could handle herself well but caught in a punch up between eight men she found herself on the ground been kicked. It was then the man who had earlier tried to grab her got her by the throat and she saw the glint of knife next to her.

"Bitch you don't say no to me" he shouted

Sara closed her eyes and in that second she realised she wanted it over. If she was dead then she wouldn't' have to feel pain again, no one could hurt her. The scumbag who had hold of her would be put away where he deserved to be and Grissom could get on with his life without her following him a round like a sick puppy. Btu it didn't' end at that moment police swarmed in guns drawn. Sara found herself been pulled upright and handcuffed. She found it difficult to stand upright as shed been winded.

"Get in the car" there was a hand on her head pushing her into the back seat of a police car. Now there was no reason to live. The only thing she had in her life was work and she was been arrested which would put an end to that.

**7:45pm**

Sara was sat in a all to familiar place surrounded by police officers. She hadn't been arrested bought brought sown for questioning and the handcuffs were a precaution. He jaw and side hurt from where she had been hit and her arm was aching stretched behind her back. It was then she saw him Bras was stood talking to an officer at the front and had clearly seen her.

"Sara" his voice was soft "is you ok?" he asked releasing her cuffs.

"Yes" mumbled Sara

"We'll get you seen by a doctor then take you statement and you can go," he said helping her up.

"She hit the bitch hit me," shouted the man been restrained by an officer.

"You had a knife to her throat," shouted Brass as he was forced back into his seat.

**8:15pm**

Sara was sat on the floor of her apartment. She had given her statement and refused to se a doctor despite Brass's protest. She as sat crossed legged looking around. She had very few positions. Should she leave them for whoever found her to deal with or should she throw them out now? She had already packed her clothes into boxes. She had no relatives so they would probably be disposed of. There was no business left for Sara to sort out, she was always up to date on her bills so no one would be left with any debt. She looked down at the pills in her hands. 40 she had counted them, enough to make it quick with the amount of alcohol she had. The pill n her left hand was a herbal pill she had some form when she used to get car sick, this would stop her from been sick and any chance of it not working. She took the pill quickly with a bottle of beer she had next to her. She debated for a second weather she should take the other individually but shoved them all in almost chocking. She didn't know how long it would take to work. She looked around there was a picture pinned to the fridge. Slowly she got up and made her way over. The pills were now starting to take effect her head felt light and pain shot across her abdomen. She pulled the picture down. It was taken last year on her birthday; Greg had thrown her a party and everyone was stood around the cake. Her eye's blurring she could just make out the image of Grissom stood his hand resting on hers on the table. Gil Grissom was the last image she saw before pain caused her to pass out, her breathing swallowed quickly before stopping altogether.

**8:"0**

"Catherine have you seen Gil?" asked Brass running into the break room where Cath, Greg and Warrick were sat.

"He went out on a call with Nick why?"

"Sara was in a fight some drunk guy hit her started a fight ended up with a knife at her throat"

"Is she ok?" asked Greg concerned.

"I don't know. I mean yes she refused to see a doctor but something's not right. It's like she didn't care"

"I'll ring her" Catherine let it ring for nearly a two minutes before shaking head.

"Lets go" said Warrick getting up.

The drive there was in silence. Catherine had seen her earlier could she have talked to her prevented whatever it was that had happened at the club.

"Sara" shouted Brass on arrival there was no answer but the door swung open.

"Sara" shouted Catherine running by him seeing her sprawled out on the floor her face pale and body lifeless.

"Sara" shouted Catherine again feeling for a pulse but finding one. Greg was stood tears running down his face as he looked at the pill bottle on the floor.

"No" Warrick hit the wall leaving an impression of his fist.

"Sara" shouted Catherine again as if hoping for some response "why did you do it? What made you so unhappy? Tell Me," she shouted descending into sobs. "Please we could have stopped it," she sobbed into Brass's shoulder.

"What's going on?" asked Grissom freezing as he walked in the doorway. Catherine had phoned him on her way there telling him to come.

"Oh god" muttered tears welling up.

"No" Grissom fell to his knees next to Sara "I'm sorry" he said a single tear falling down his face. "I'm sorry you were so unhappy that you did this" he paused whispering "I'm sorry I made you that way" he said taking her hand.

Greg was stood been embraced by Catherine repeating the same question again and again

"Why didn't she tell us, we could have done something"?

"Maybe we couldn't Greg. Sometimes things get too far," said Catherine leading him away from the house as everyone left Grissom alone with her.

"Gil" bras put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's is my fault"

Brass just looked at him.

"I was scared that I'd hurt her if I let her get to close, instead I drove her to this"

**3;00pm 14th May **

The day the rains fell upon Vegas and the roads flooded. Everything came to a standstill as we watched your body been laid in the ground. The heavens cried for you, as did everyone else. My counsellor told me to write a diary so this is it.

We miss you more than I can ever say.

Greg has lost his mentor and his best friend, he no longer jokes around the lab.

Nick has lost his sister, well figuratively. He gets involved with every little thing afraid he might miss something that could help.

Warrick is staying with Catherine after you went he started Gambling again, just one game but he knows that all it takes. He doesn't want to let you down not after the grief you gave him.

Catherine has lost her only female companion. She just stumbles through work everyday waiting to go home to Lindsey; she's started asking her if she's happy everyday. We all try to check on each other more now.

I know you'd sorted your things. The boxes of clothes now stand in my bedroom like a shrine to what I could have had. Your photos are in my office pined up. I gave the rest of your stuff to an animal charity, I hope that's what you would have wanted. Your badge and photo now hangs on the lad wall along with the one we found you holding. It reminds us not to get wrapped up in ourselves and to notice others. I know your watching down on us Sara, and I want you to know even through it's to late I do love. I hope that your waiting for me up there, I don't' have the courage to met you again yet, instead I wonder round in world where I feel I no longer belong because your not in it.

Gil Grissom

The end 

Well I hope I didn't depress you too much. No wait hat was the point; let me know what you thought


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